Jokes

Tooth For a Tooth?

  Peter the Great, a keen amateur dentist, often assisted surgeons and dentists in their operations. One morning a valet appealed to Peter to help his wife. She was suffering from a severe toothache, he explained, but refused to have the offending tooth pulled and pretended to be in no pain when offered dental care. Peter collected his dental instruments and followed the valet to his apartments, where, ignoring the cries and protests of the struggling woman, he successfully extracted the troublesome tooth.
  Only later did the czar discover that the poor woman had in fact never had a toothache at all: the painful extraction had been her husband's idea of revenge for a domestic quarrel!

Crush Diet

  Steven Wright once developed a crush on a dental hygienist. He soon hatched a plan to spend as much time with her as possible. The plan? While sitting in the waiting room, he ate an entire box of Oreo cookies!

Barry Manilow: Dental Surgery

  "Barry Manilow is recovering from an infection after dental surgery," Conan O'Brien reported in May 1999. "When asked about it, Manilow said, 'The worst thing about it, was having to sit in that chair and listen to my crappy music.'"

Tiger

  Mao Zedong, like many of his countrymen, refused to brush his teeth, choosing instead to rinse with tea and chew the leaves. He answered his critics with a rhetorical question: "Does a tiger brush his teeth?"
  A rhetorical answer: Do a tiger's teeth turn green and fall out? No. Did Mao's? Yes.

18th Century Dentistry

  Dentistry in eighteenth-century Paris was so horribly barbaric that, one day after having several teeth pulled by an overzealous dentist, King Louis XIV drank some soup - and had it cascade out of his nose!

Toothsome Woman

  The model Amy Lemons was discovered in an unlikely place. "I was getting my braces adjusted when a scout who happened to be in the office approached me," she recalled. "I'm surprised she was interested. I was not a cute sight."

  MY COUSIN, who had just opened his dental practice, was dismayed when his mother told him she was embroidering a Bible verse to hang on the wall of his waiting room. "Mom, you just don't put Bible verses in dentists' offices," he groaned. His mother assured him that he would like it. He did. The verse his mother had chosen was Psalms 81:10:" . . . open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it."